It's Good Friday.
A good day for recollections.
It's been a really long year.
I stopped schooling n started working.
straight after my trip to HK, i started to plan my work schedule for e yr ahead till sch reopens.
i tried full time tuitioning n also another office job.
could not manage. so went to relief teaching.
it really taught me a few things when it came to that.
patience n how much i wun make it as a full time teacher even though it is a really great job in my eyes.
when e hols started, i started at Tenchi.
1st November 2005.
A date i will always rmb.
cool it was at first.
cos im surrounded by comics everyday.
my first supervisor was alright though he left me alone at e shop whenever possible.
i met a few guys during these times, rmbed i rejected one cos he insulted my relationship with God.
the others were nothing serious, mainly passing remarks in my eyes.
things started going another way when my 1st boss had conflicting interests with the boss of all Tenchi francises.
So i ended up being branch manager of my shop.
Date? 22nd Dec 2005
was planning to quit by then but i was asked to stayed on until i start sch,
n i can go for church services on all my sundays.
but i was never expected to have difficult colleagues.
im a very 'face' person, no one i cant handle.
just whether im giving heart or just face value.
i made a mistake n lose all i learnt to control.
i nv really blamed her but it did affect me.
so all my other colleagues are just colleagues.
i have some who can be friends, OUT of work.
i learnt it a hard way.
some commented im stern, but they nv knew me.
or i nv gave a chance.
I left the job finally on March 19, 2006.
i learnt many, management n patience, sales n more.
thankful that i left the job n thankful to my experience thare, i learnt lots.
that was 4 months and 19 days.
i was a successful applicant to SP, Architecture. Darch for short.
In the next 3 years to come, startg from 17 April 2006,
i will be a full time student there.
I'm very sceptical.
i am no talent at drawing but i love the course.
it's a conflicting emotion.
and i am not sure at all.
i have also applied for NTU n NUS.
NTU is tough when i see the competition im facing on the fac test e other day
NUS has not given me news yet n there is suppose to be an interview in 30 April 2006.
It will determine my chance.
and then if i get thru, i am not sure if i will choose to go.
since the fight is theory against practical.
but i really hope i will at least get a chance to choose.
the family's pressure is very large.
my mum's upset if i dun get in, since my younger cousins are chasing after me.
she keeps telling me i have wasted a yr out in working society.
sometimes i ask myself too.
but nonetheless, i am still startg sch on monday, 17 April 2006.
And ever since i stopped working, even though i have spent my time well, by doing my readings n stuff,
im showing signs of fatigue.
really bad signs.
all my sleeping habits are even more upside down than i used to be.
n now if i dun get up earlier than i need to, i will be late for all my appointments.
why? i take 30 mins in bed to finally realise i am awake n dragged myself out of bed.
somedays i dun even have e energy to do so.
like today. i was supposed to be in church n i did wake up. at 8am.
felt ill, had an asthma attack n nv left the bad until 10am.
i am so tired now n wanted to rest in bed but i could not get to sleep.
laid there for almost an hour when i finally gave up.
this is e hundredth time it has happen since i started sleeping badly.
i can be so tired n sleepy but i nv managed to fall asleep until 1 to 2 hours later.
so nowadays, i spent my time chatting with God or reading until i fall asleep.
all my energies are quite spent.
it's taking a lot from my body.
cannot rest properly. making stupid blunders.
then there's my friends.
several having probs but i cant help.
i started feeling helpless since last yr n it is really getting to me now.
one's too far away n e other is too distant from me now.
useless. me.
it hurts me to see my friends unhappy.
hurts me even more when i cant help.
i dun wanna push.
i rmb a comment by made last yr.
everytime i went n came back from msia, i would receive a call.
it started with her n went on to another.
im not superstitious but it does reminds me of something.
cant put it in words.
that sums up a year.
till the next year then, Good Friday.
God, I Love You.